Worried about being a good mum to your newborn?

Becoming a mother is supposed to be one of the greatest times in a woman’s life, but for many, the stresses and anxieties seem to outweigh the pleasures. Some women say they are left feeling alone or in the wrong, as what they’ve read on the web and what they are experiencing don’t seem to match up.

The good news is that it’s natural to feel this way and you are not alone! If you want to avoid feeling inferior or inept, view what you read as just one person’s opinion. By all means do some online research as well as reading books by professionals, but make sure that what you’re reading has a good provenance, that the author is reputable and that any research is recent; expert advice has changed dramatically over the years. Remember too that there never has been, and never will be, a ‘one size fits all’ way to do things. It is OK to make mistakes because that’s how we learn. It’s all about experience.

If however, you are finding that you’re constantly worrying about your baby’s health or that your worries are becoming all-consuming, you may be suffering from anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety include insomnia, hyper-vigilance, irritability, and fatigue, but this is not an exhaustive list. You can expect to feel tired if you’re not getting a full night’s sleep due to feeding, but if you’re awake because you’re fretting or over-thinking, or are constantly checking on your baby because you fear some calamity, you may want to seek some professional support. It’s important to get help to reduce your anxious thinking, or it could end up becoming a longer term disorder which might lead to depression. 

Whilst your new-born will need your attention, it’s important to make time for yourself too, to bring some balance to your life. It doesn’t matter how long or short your ‘me-time’ is, but it is important that you have some. You might want to read your favourite (non baby-related) magazine, pop out for a coffee or have your hair or nails done.  These may seem frivolous things to do, but they can provide a break from ‘baby world’. The shock of going from independent woman, to 24/7 ‘mum’ can be a difficult transition. Loss of identity can contribute to what is trivialised by the term ‘baby blues’. If you make time to ‘take five’ it can do wonders; all the other stuff will still be there later, it may just feel less overwhelming after you’ve had a quick re-set or enjoyed some adult company.