Have you felt despondent, envious or self critical as a consequence? If you have compared yourself to these seemingly ‘successful’ people and found yourself coming up short, perhaps you are only looking at half the picture. Is what you are concluding about other people really true? They may have the obvious trappings of wealth, but can you really tell how their life, job or relationships are? What evidence do you have that they are wealthier or more successful than you and what about their happiness? On the face it of things may seem perfect in their world, but have you got any real evidence for that? By making assumptions, which may well be incorrect, you put yourself in a position of uncertainty and self doubt.
Depending what type of person you are, you might consider copying them, or doing what they do; in NLP this is called modeling. You might decide however that you are lacking in some way; that you are devoid of the requisite skills to succeed or worse still that you haven’t the ‘right’ sort of personality. By drawing comparisons with others, rather than focusing on your strengths, you are likely to feel discouraged or despondent. This way of thinking is disempowering.
A better way is to recognise and value your own talents and abilities. You might also choose to compare yourself, your situation or your results with others who are less fortunate. Success means different things to different people and measuring yourself against others is rarely helpful. Even if you consider that you have done better than someone else, this doesn’t mean you are a better person or a happier one!
To be truly successful (whatever that means to you) it’s essential that you remain true to yourself. It’s vital that you appreciate and acknowledge your own personality and unique skills and abilities. When you do this, you will begin to see yourself differently and give up the destructive pattern of comparison and internal criticism.
