If
so, you may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome (IS) is an
unpleasant manifestation of self-doubt or low self-esteem. Those who have IS
will often believe that they have achieved what they have through a fortuitous
fluke, rather than hard work or capability. Individuals (often
women, but certainly not always) will
fear being ‘discovered’ as not being good enough, knowing enough or deserving
of a position or title. For this reason they will often undertake further
qualifications or work twice as hard as their peers in order to become ‘good enough’.
However, as the belief that they are undeserving isn’t based on evidence, but
rather is a deeply entrenched distorted self-perception, no accolade or prize
will boost the ego of the troubled individual.
Currently
many young people are waiting, perhaps preparing for interviews, to find out if
they have been accepted into their choice of university course. Many more are on the cusp of graduation and
about to enter the workforce. As Ore Ogunbiyi writes “...I begin
to question whether I had done enough, even though I had done all that I could,
or whether my passions were even welcome in this space at all?”
Friends
or colleagues of IS ‘victims’ will often be completely baffled by their chum’s
inability to recognise their success or achievements. To them it seems
self-evident that their friend is a natural, a talent to be recognised. But
those who struggle with IS continue to be crippled by doubts. So, who develops
Imposter Syndrome? Sadly, it is often the children of high achieving or
critical (if well-meaning) parents. Striving to impress to feel accepted
becomes a habit that is often carried throughout a person’s life.
If
you recognise yourself in this description, what can you do to feel better?
Well, certainly not try harder! Sadly, that route which is undertaken by many
high achievers fails to result in increased esteem; in fact it mostly has the
opposite effect. This is because ‘the problem’ was not the lack of competence
or experience, but one of low esteem. It is therefore this area which needs
attention and a therapist’s help will need to be sought.
Low
self-esteem is not something you are born with, it’s a learned response to life
situations including criticism or bullying throughout your school years. When
you have a robust self-esteem you are more confident in pursuing your dreams.
You can also make your life choices based on what you really want rather than
what you hope will make you feel better or to achieve the acceptance of others.
Understanding
that almost everybody has times when they feel like an imposter may help. Gaining
perspective through working with an impartial therapist can help you to
understand if your feelings have any validity or if they are a natural part of
expanding yourself and stepping into new and challenging experiences.
