Performance anxiety: Give your mind a make-over.

Nausea? Sweaty palms? Racing heart? Doubt? 
Welcome to the (not so wonderful) world of performance anxiety, something that most of us have felt at some point in our lives. So where does it stem from? How can we control it? 

Well-meaning people might advise practising deep breathing or tell us to 'stay calm' before a performance of some kind. Whilst their intention is to be helpful, just being told to relax, won't necessarily help. Recent studies suggest that there may be more effective ways to get a grip on performance anxiety.

Let's imagine a scenario where you might feel anxious:

After a series of job applications in which you receive polite generic letters thanking you for your application but stating that 'on this occasion you were not chosen' but that 'your details will be kept on file' for future vacancies', joy of joys you open a reply that states 'Thank you for your application, we would like you to come in for an interview'. After doing a victory dance in your living room, slowly the weight of the request starts to creep up on you and what two minutes ago seemed like the best thing in the world, now starts to look the complete opposite. Cue, performance anxiety.

So in the space of those two minutes 'what actually changed?' the answer is 'your mindset'. The situation is exactly the same as it was those two minutes ago, but whereas your initial reaction was jubilation, what you're left with is a sinking feeling as you realise what being asked to come for an interview entails. We only feel this way about things that matter to us - if we didn't care about the outcome, we wouldn't feel this way. Having said that, we probably wouldn't have been dancing around the room in jubilation either.

Believe it or not, a small amount of nervousness can be helpful but it's about knowing how to balance it and not letting it overwhelm you. A recent study from Harvard Business School (1) suggests that pumping yourself up, rather than calming yourself down, might be the answer. Focusing on the excitement of the situation and your ideal outcome will put you in a healthier frame of mind than focusing on your nerves and all the things that could possibly go wrong. Top speakers and performers have used similar techniques for centuries and the more you start to think in this way, the easier it becomes.

When I see clients who want help with presentation nerves, exam nerves or interview nerves, I teach them how to 're-frame' their thinking, to mentally rehearse their desired outcome and to anchor their positive visualisation with a physical or verbal cue. Top speakers and performers have used similar techniques for centuries and the more you start to think in this way, the easier it becomes. So, the next time you feel the waves of dread before a situation in which you need to perform well, embrace your nerves (excitement) and focus on what you want, rather than the opposite. By putting these techniques into practice, you might well be pleasantly surprised with the results.

Who gets depressed?

Who gets depressed and why, has long been a matter of debate. Some people believe it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, but that is just one theory. Some consider this theory to be little more than a guess, as it's not possible to accurately measure these chemicals in the brain.

Others believe that depression is most often a learned behaviour. A child may observe and adopt the parent or carers negativities and ineffectual coping strategies. These might not surface until something negative happens to them later in life. The internal negative feelings may then rise to the surface and the person could then go on to become habitually depressed.

The onset of depression isn't usually triggered by one specific problem. It's generally an accumulation of various problems in life which the individual may have been dealing with, until one extra problem occurs that tips them into a depressive state. When this happens it's easy to assume that that particular problem is the cause of the depression but this is unlikely.

Human beings are creatures of habit which means that the more a person thinks and feels negatively or positively the more this becomes their reality. It is common for people to misunderstand depression and they may assume that a depressed person is being weak or simply feeling sorry for themselves. Critical comments are unhelpful and can leave a depressed person feeling guilty about their thoughts and feelings, which can lead to them feeling more depressed.

Depression is likely to affect a person physically as well as emotionally. They may over or under eat or self-medicate with alcohol. They are likely to sleep too much or be unable to sleep. A decrease in libido, fatigue and anxiety are all linked to depression and they are unlikely to able to find pleasure in anything. Depression can also result in poor concentration, errors of judgment and the inability to make decisions.

No matter the type or severity of the depression, it is possible for the individual to break the cycle. Recognising and acknowledging that they are depressed is the first step towards change and the next step is to obtain the relevant help. Anti-depressants or talking therapy may be offered, but only talking therapies will change the individual's feelings and behaviour long-term. By changing their habits and behaviour, they will change how they feel and break the cycle and expect much better results. By getting therapy and knowing what to do differently, people can change their lives. Depression can be controlled and when treated by a skilled hypnotherapist or talking therapist, the outcome can be excellent.

New ways to feel better fast

When it comes to exercise even the most dedicated of us can occasionally be tempted to put it off until the weather is better, work is quieter, or for a more convenient time. For anyone suffering from depression however, the thought of exercise is unlikely to be appealing. They are much more likely to want to crawl underneath the duvet and hibernate. Does this sound familiar?

So how does exercise help? Well, firstly, it's not possible to worry or feel down at the same time as exercising. Just doing something different is a distraction to negative thoughts and rumination and physical exertion can stimulate the release of endorphins that leave you feeling happier.

An activity such as yoga, can work wonders for your mind and body and can leave you feeling both calmer and more energised. Dog walking can also be a good way to get regular exercise and can be an easy way to meet other people. An early morning walk can help someone mildly depressed to get up and get moving. It can provide some social connection too that might otherwise be avoided. I once knew a man who was 'prescribed' a dog by his GP. Sceptical at first, after getting a dog, he noticed a significant improvement in his mood and become more comfortable with  social interaction.

Vigorous exercise is unlikely to appeal to someone feeling low, and if you've been depressed, you'll understand that, but if it is undertaken, it shouldn't be done too close to bedtime as it is mentally stimulating. Gentle exercise however, can improve sleep quality and mental well-being. The type of exercise chosen can also make a difference; if exercise is fun it is more likely to be continued. 

George W Burns, therapist and author, developed a sensory awareness inventory (SAI) which can be helpful for those experiencing low mood. Therapists using this approach may task a client with making a list of items or activities which give them pleasure, enjoyment or comfort. The categories suggested by Burns are: Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch and Activity.

I have used this approach with clients and found that the majority of things listed by clients tend to be nature-related. These could be things like the smell of cut grass, the sound of the sea, feeding ducks at the park or stroking an animal. Many of the stimuli listed by clients required them to go outdoors and most were cheap or free. Sadly, very few of these simple pleasures were being pursued by clients feeling low. Busy people too, might neglect nature's restorative qualities; often choosing to turn to alcohol or food instead. 

You don't need to be down to do this. If you like the idea of trying this task, why not draw up your own list. Give yourself plenty of time and list at least 10 things in each category. Then, whether it's exercise you're missing or something outdoors you've not seen or done in a while, commit to doing it. Don't delay, get out, get going and see how you feel. Just doing something can serve to distract you from old thought and behavioural patterns. Enjoy!