It's not just the homeless who have a crisis at Christmas

The shops are full of Christmas gifts, cards and decorations, not to mention party clothes and food and they're playing Christmas carols and songs in every shop and pub. Everywhere you look there are ads promoting festive things... and we're all meant to be jolly...

But Christmas isn't happy or jolly for lots of people. And we're not just talking the homeless here. For an awful lot of folk, Christmas is a time to be endured rather than enjoyed - something to get through rather than get into. For those who don't have anyone special in their life (and want someone) it can be a lonely time. For those who feel obliged to spend time with family they don't get on with, it can be very stressful, and for anyone who has lost a loved one, especially if they were bereaved during the Christmas period, it is a time of loss and sadness. Domestic Abuse goes up over the Christmas and New Year period, when a number of factors (including alcohol consumption) combine to see stress and anger issues rise to explosive levels. Suicide too becomes an option for some... Not a jolly picture... but the reality of many.

My experience is that the start of the stress or anxiety often coincides with the arrival of the Christmas goods in the shops, whether it be in September or October and builds slowly as the weeks go by. So December isn't usually a quiet time for me and therapists like me, who work with stress, trauma, anxiety, depression and grief. Having some therapy to help you through this challenging time might be worth considering before looking at ways to make long term permanent changes for yourself in the New Year. Christmas doesn't actually make life different or worse, it only highlights the flaws and reveals the gaps. As the saying goes... "If you do nothing, nothing changes, so what are you waiting for? Make this your last year like this and do something different...

If you'd like to change something in your life or would like to feel differently about something you can't change, call me to book an appointment.

Call me now to book an early appointment on 020 8947 3338

Stoptober

October 2012 is the first 'Stoptober' - a new campaign to encourage people to quit smoking for 28 days - with the hope they will remain a non-smoker thereafter. It'll be interesting to see how many stay non-smokers long-term. Sadly ex-smokers can quite often return to smoking cigarettes after long periods of time. I recently saw a client who had stopped smoking 7 years ago and then thought she could smoke on one specific occasion and then go back to being a non-smoker. Unfortunately she was back to full-time smoking in no time at all. To go back to smoking after being an ex-smoker for so long is unusual, but I have met many people who have gone back to smoking cigarettes after 2 or 3 years, usually after believing that they could 'just have one or two' on a special occasion. The good news is that most people who quit for months and years do remain non-smokers.There are lots of statistics on the 'best' methods to break the habit. Willpower works for many and is the cheapest, but sometimes involves a bit of a struggle and a fair amount of grumpiness. Hypnosis requires you to be committed too, but most people find it a more comfortable way to quit and with better chances of success. Of course you have to really want it - see my news and articles page on this site - or it won't work. I spoke to a relative recently who said he was planning to quit, and I re-iterated an earlier offer of a free Quit 4 Life smoking cessation session. He replied, "But you said that it wouldn't work if deep down I like smoking and don't really want to stop" Doh! (I didn't say that to him). Do people think hypnosis is magic? It would be a bit scary - not to mention unethical - if a hypnotherapist could make you do something you didn't want to. Yeah, I know it looks like that on the telly...

So, it'll be an interesting month. The NHS will be doling out NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapy) to all who want it - why would you want to continue putting nicotine in your system? - and hopefully many will give up tobacco for good. Interestingly, I have seen a noticeable increase in smoking cessation clients and enquiries in the last 2 or 3 months - more than the whole of last year, and that's without any special offers or promotions... Is that the recession beginning to really impact on people's 'routine' spending? Anyway, to get in the spirit of the thing, I am doing a special 4 week Stop Smoking with hypnotherapy offer, which is a 4 for 3 deal, saving you £75. This is a different approach to my normal one extra long Quit 4 Life session of 2+ hours and a self-hypnosis CD. This does works for most people - and really want to quit - but people sometimes expect to need more and like the idea of the ongoing support. So, if you are considering quitting by one method or another, best of luck - I wish you every success. Why wait until January 1st to make a change...

Making it easier to check out professional status

Having decided recently to make some changes to my premises shop front, I considered what clients might like to know about me and what I offer. Being in the fortunate position of having my own clinic premises, I am able to convey information easily to drivers and pedestrians passing by on Durnsford Road and Merton Road. As listing the problems I work with would fill most of my windows, I reckoned that contact and web details should feature prominently - most clients seem to browse my website before contacting me. But I get many enquiries too from local people who stop by and collect a leaflet from my outside dispensers, so I've chosen to add my professional qualifications and names of the professional bodies to which I belong, to the information displayed on the window glass.

It is important to me that clients can reassure themselves that the therapist they plan to work with is fully trained and is a member of one or more professional association. Unfortunately it isn't yet illegal to set up as a therapist without any qualifications at all, although thankfully this is rare now. Some people do feel embarrassed to ask about such matters so I like to make it as easy as possible for clients to access this data.

The clinic windows now look fab, thanks to Steve at Artline Signs, and I love my striking new boards, door sign and window sashes. I'm tempted to go further and invest in a patio table and chairs outside, and maybe some plants, but I think given the weather in Wimbledon so far this summer, we may be staying inside with our espressos rather than sipping our frappucinos in the SW19 sun!

How do you find a hypnotherapist to help you?

Back in March I bought a new car - a fabulous bright red VW Up! It got a lot of attention as it's a brand new model and 2 months on I've still not seen another in Wimbledon. I spent some time planning how I would 'decorate' it. Some people said I should give examples of issues or conditions I work with such as Anxiety, Phobias, Performance Nerves, Weight Loss, Hypnobirthing etc, whilst others said it was important to put my name and my qualifications on the car so that people would know I'm a professional hypnotherapist and entirely above board. Whilst considering possible straplines, we pondered what we felt the public response would be to our 'clever' phrases... In the end I kept it simple, with my new logo prominent and my contact details clear. I collected it on Friday and was very pleased with the striking look. On Sunday I drove to a hypnotherapy training event in Birmingham where my car was admired by many. One hypnotherapist though, said she felt my car graphics were 'inappropriate' - an interesting response, and one which has started a debate. Are therapists business people (the majority of us are self-employed) who would be expected to market their services, or are we, as caring professionals outside of the NHS, seen as a discreet 'service' to be discovered only by those who seek us out? What would your response be to a therapist advertising? Would it make a difference if the advert was on the side of a London bus, printed in a parish magazine or on a corkboard in a health shop? Is it ok for a dentist to market their techniques for achieving the perfect smile through paid advertising, while hypnotherapists sit quietly behind a brass wall plaque, waiting to offer our therapeutic approach to smile creation? Of course different things appeal to different folk, but it's hard to help people to feel the way they want to feel, behave the way they want to behave, and go on to achieve the life they want, if they can't find us or don't even know we exist...

My chance to practise what I teach

Yesterday morning I had a decision to make that many do. I needed to have an endoscopy (gatroscopy) and I had the choice to be sedated or not. Having a busy afternoon planned, I decided not to be sedated. In the waiting room, the other patients, all of whom had experienced this procedure at least once before, advised sedation - all had bad memories of earlier experiences and there was a sense of stress and anxiety in the room... I began to worry about my choice, and phoned to arrange a lift home if I 'bottled it' and went for the drugs... Then I thought about the pregnant women I teach to use self-hypnosis for birthing and decided (to use a phrase often used by my friend and colleague Richard Nicholls) to 'practise what I preach'. In the waiting room I got myself as comfortable as I was able to in a hard chair, closed my eyes and visualised myself on Saunton Sands in Devon. The nervous conversations in the waiting room became the background chatter of other beach users. I smelt the sea air, saw my dog running on the flat sands and felt the warmth of the sun, relaxing my muscles.... When I went through to have the procedure, the nurses asked me what I did for a living and I said I'd tell them afterwards... I lay on my side as instructed, closed my eyes and took myself to Saunton. As they arranged my relaxed arms, I heard them say, "she's almost asleep" I stayed relaxed and kept my breathing slow and kept my eyes closed until it was over, which was a few short minutes. When I sat up, the nurse said "So what do you do?" When I told them, they laughed. Afterwards, reflecting on the anxiety of my fellow patients and the 'stressy' atmosphere, I wondered how I could use my hypnotherapy skills to help make the experience of endoscopy less of an ordeal and to help reduce anxious thoughts prior to the procedure. I am also pondering recording a self-hypnosis CD for preparation for endoscopy....Watch this space!

Thursday 8th March was International Women's Day and I celebrated this day with 100+  women in business and mumpreneurs at the Social Media Magic event inWimbledon put on by London Mums Magazine and Way to Work Magazine. It was a very interesting event, and handily for me it was in Wimbledon, conveniently close to The Hypnotherapy & Natural Health Centre. Sadly, Lorna (my massage therapist and reflexologist colleague) who specialises in pregnancy treatments was unable to join me as she had a bad cold, which was a shame. As we both specialise in working with pregnancy and childbirth, we were looking forward to networking with women who also do business with mums and mums to be as well as any working mums looking for advice on hypnosis for childbirth (hypnobirthing). Surprisingly there were few obviously pregnant women there, but several women came over to my exhibition stand to wax lyrical about their positive hypnobirthing experiences. I did however have several enquiries from women who wanted help to overcome phobias. I have seen an increasing numbers of clients over the last year who wanted help with acute fears and phobias although this may be as a result client referrals. Prior to me opening my therapy centre in SW19 in 2010, my hypnotherapy practice in SW London was actually called Fix your Fears because fear of some kind is at the root of most people's concerns, whether it be fear of rejection, fear of failure or even fear of success. (My Twitter username is @fix your fears).